Thoughts of You
 

by MysticWhim

Starsky watched the closing credits of 'Soap' roll over the screen and commented, "Hmph.  Don't see what all the fuss was about."

Hutch turned his gaze from the television and asked, "What fuss?"

"About that show.  A bunch of religious groups tried to get it banned from tv.  Said it was too controversial.  Too immoral."  Starsky scratched his head, perplexed.  "Hell, I thought it was hilarious.  It was just spoofin' soaps."

"Some people find it necessary to force their morality on everyone else," Hutch mused. 

"I liked that smartass butler," Starsky grinned.  "He was the best part."

Hutch chuckled in response.  "Yeah, he was good."

"I was kinda surprised at Jodie though."

"Yeah?  Why's that?"

"He just looked...I dunno...ordinary.  Just a plain old guy.  I thought he would look more flashy, more funny..."

Hutch grinned and looked over.  "You expected him to dress like Liberace, have a limp wrist, and speak with a lisp, is that it?"

Embarrassed, Starsky smiled and nodded.  "Yeah.  I thought he would be more like that."

"Not all gay guys look and act like that Starsk.  That's a caricature.  Look at Johnny Blaine.  Nobody would have guessed he was gay."

Starsky was thoughtful a moment.  "How come people are always thinking we're gay, huh Hutch?  We don't act like that.  How come they're always gossiping that there's more going on between us than friendship?  Do we act light in the loafers or something?"

Hutch shrugged and exhaled a loud sigh.  "Oh, I don't know, Starsk.  Because they don't understand us, I guess.  We don't fit into their preconceived notion of what friends or partners should be, so they try to find some other fit for us.  I guess we're a bit more physical with each other than most partners.  And we care about each other more than the average partners."

"But we're not the only partners who care about each other," Starsky pointed out.  "Look at Burns and Michaud.  When Burns was hit last week, Michaud freaked out until he found out he was gonna be okay, and no one said a word.  They love each other, just like us.  How come no one ever gossips about them?"

"They don't show it," Hutch replied sadly.  "We know how they feel because we were there when they were scared.  That was one of the few times they let their feelings for each other show.  We don't hold back how we feel."

Starsky shook his head.  "I can't do that, Hutch.  If I care about somebody, I'm not gonna hold back.  Why should I?"

Hutch smiled warmly.  "You shouldn't.  I don't want you to."

"So I guess the gossip that we're gay will always be there, huh?"

"I guess so."

"Do you ever think about it Hutch?  I mean, do you ever wonder what it would be like if we...?"

"If we what, Starsk?"

Starsky looked flustered.  "Do you ever think about me and you getting together... in the sack?"

Hutch raised an eyebrow at his partner.  "Are you asking me if I'm attracted to you?"

He shrugged.  "I dunno.  I guess I am.  I just wondered if you ever had gay thoughts about me."

The word choice made Hutch smile inwardly.  "Gay thoughts?  You really want to know?"

Starsky nodded decisively.  "Yeah.  I wanna know."

Hutch sat back, and eyed his friend.  "Okay.  Yeah, sometimes.  I've thought about it.  I've wondered."  He struggled, unsure if he should go on.  Finally he admitted, "I think it would be a beautiful experience to make love to you." 

"Huh.  Whadda ya know..."  Starsky's voice trailed off as he contemplated Hutch's reply.  He didn't seem upset, but rather surprised.

The confession suddenly made Hutch nervous.  "Do you mean to tell me you never have?  Thought about it, I mean?"

Starsky's head snapped back.  "Oh sure!" he blurted out.  "I've thought about it.  Lotsa times.  I just never thought you did."  He shrugged and looked away.

"Lots of times?" Hutch raised an eyebrow, questioningly.  "When have you thought about it, buddy?"

Silent for a moment, Starsky slowly raised his head to face Hutch with his reply.  "Every time I look at you."

Hutch saw Starsky's raw honesty and felt a tug at his heart.  "How come you never told me?"

Starsky grinned.  "I could ask you the same thing.  You've thought about it too."  Then he added, "I woulda said something, if I thought you might be open to the idea.  I just didn't know."

Amazement washed over Hutch.  "Are you suggesting adding sex to our relationship, Starsk?  Is this something you want?"

Looking at his hands, unable to meet Hutch's eyes, Starsky answered quietly.  "Do I want it?  With you?  Yeah."  He looked up to meet Hutch's eyes.  "But not if it's gonna hurt what we've got.  And not unless you want it too."

Hutch reached out his left hand and took Starsky's hand in his, twining the fingers together.  He gave his friend a little smile.  He leaned forward and cleared his throat.  "I want it, but not unless it's for the right reasons.  I don't want this to be just some..."

Starsky interrupted him.  "Hey, it's me. You know how I feel about you.   Don't ya?"

Hutch gave him a knowing smile, but it quickly faded.  "What about all this concern over the gossip at work?  If you're that worried about people thinking you might be gay, how can you think about entering into a homosexual relationship?"

He shook his head and chuckled.  "I wasn't worried about the gossip," Starsky protested. "I don't care what anyone says or thinks about me.  I was just curious how come the gossip started in the first place, when we haven't done anything.  Do you think maybe they're jealous of what we have together?" 

A gentle smile crossed Hutch's lips.  There was such sincerity, almost an innocence in Starsky's face.  "Come here," he coaxed, giving a light tug on their clasped hands.  Hutch lightly took Starsky's chin in his hand as he placed a soft kiss on his lips.  "If they aren't, they should be."

Smiling with delight, Starsky wrapped his arm around Hutch's neck, pulling him close for another kiss.

The kisses continued and deepened, until the two men pulled apart and gazed at each other, both pleased at how good this felt, how right.  Starsky's eyes were gleaming when he declared, "I want more of that!"  He crushed his body into Hutch's, only to feel his friend pull back slightly.

Hutch spoke apologetically.  "I want to do this right, Starsk.  We're never going to forget this.  Please?"

Starsky instantly pulled back, touched that Hutch would want to take such care with their union.  "Okay, sure, Hutch.  However you wanna do this.  Hey, you ever done this before?" he asked a little uncertainly.

Shaking his head, Hutch looked a little nervous himself.  "No.  You?"

"Unh uh," he sighed.  Amused, he asked, "How we gonna do this right, if neither of us knows what we're doin'?"

"We'll do all right, Starsky," Hutch promised.  "I love you and you love me, and that's going to make it right.  We'll find our way.  Why don't we just slow it down, enjoy ourselves?  I think I've got some wine.  You want to put some music on while I get it?"

Feeling a bit more at ease with a familiar task, Starsky found some music he liked and placed the album on the stereo.  The soft sounds of Nat King Cole drifted from the speakers.  Hutch was still occupied with the wine, so Starsky began to turn down lights and light some candles.  Soon the room's atmosphere was soft and romantic.

Hutch walked in, and his pace slowed as he took in the changes in the room.  He smiled warmly at his friend.  "Nat King Cole, Starsk?  I never would have guessed you'd pick that.  You surprise me."  He kissed him before handing him his glass of wine.  "And I love the candlelight."

Starsky put down his glass and wrapped his arms around Hutch, snuggling close.  "I'd ask you to dance, but I'm afraid we'd both try to lead," he grinned. 

"I'm not used to this romantic side of you," Hutch said with amusement.  "I rather like seeing you like this."

His voice soft, Starsky replied, "And I'd like to see you wake up in my arms, with sunshine in your hair and a very satisfied smile on your lips."

Struck silent by the unexpected sentiment, Hutch answered with a kiss.  "I'd like to see you one with me, David."

Unaccustomed to hearing his first name from Hutch, he was about to razz him about it when he saw the expression on Hutch's face.  He hadn't seen that look since Gillian.  It had irritated him back then, seeing the weakness in his friend as he cast lovesick eyes on his new girl; a jealousy rising in him that he didn't understand or wish to acknowledge.  But seeing that look in Hutch's eyes now made his heart soar.

Hutch caressed Starsky's face.  "David, I love you."

Surrendering willingly in Hutch's arms, swept away with a kiss, Starsky felt a peace and freedom he had never felt before.  "I love you too," he breathed against Hutch's parted lips as he grazed his lips against them.  Hutch hungrily devoured him in another deep kiss, igniting them both with need. 

Wanting to give his partner whatever he desired, Starsky asked, "What did you think of when you imagined us together?  I want to give you that."

A mischievous smile crossed Hutch's face.  He reached one arm around Starsky, then bent over and reached behind his legs, shocking the other man by picking him up in his arms.  "I'll show you," Hutch answered, carrying him to the bed.

Laying Starsky down gently on the bed, Hutch kissed him thoroughly.  He began to slowly undress Starsky as he covered his bared neck and shoulders with more kisses and gentle bites.  Starsky hissed when Hutch's lips first laid claim to his nipples, the sharp stimulation catching him off guard, but he moaned in expectation as Hutch kissed down his belly toward his navel.

So caught up in Hutch's roaming hands and enticing kisses, Starsky was barely aware that Hutch had managed to slip off the remainder of his clothing, and most of his own as well.  

Hutch stood back from the bed to finish undressing himself.  Starsky instantly missed the contact and ached for more. 

"Hutch, if you don't hurry up and kiss me, I'm gonna..." 

He stopped speaking as Hutch straightened to his full height and stepped closer to the bed, naked and aroused.  His eyes fell upon Hutch's erection, and his eyes widened as Hutch slid onto the bed and blanketed Starsky. 

"Damn, Hutch!" Starsky exclaimed.  "You're really somethin'!  Do you know how incredible you look naked?"

Hutch chuckled.  "You've seen me naked before," he reminded him.  "Nothing new."

"Uh, that's not entirely true.  I mean, I've seen you in the buff before, but I've never seen you like this before.  Geez, you're beautiful!"  His hand wrapped around Hutch's erection, lovingly stroking him as Hutch closed his eyes.

But Hutch had other plans.  He pulled out of Starsky's tantalizing grip and slid lower down his body.  He resumed the kisses where he left off, down Starsky's belly. 

"Hutch..."

Hutch wrapped his hand around the base of Starsky's phallus, and caressed his cheek against the velvety head.  "David," he sighed, then placed a light kiss on the top of the glans.  He started to run his tongue up the length of Starsky's shaft, then offered a rhythmic stroke of his hand.

Starsky was having trouble remembering what he intended to ask, distracted by that tongue snaking around him, and the hand's electrifying touch.  "Hutch, come on and turn around.  I can't reach you."

Hutch was running his tongue around the head, darting at the edge, dancing across the slit. 

A growling groan escaped Starsky.  "Turn this way, will ya?  I wanna do to you what you're doing to me.  Ah, Hutch!"

Hutch ran his tongue downward now, finally ending with a slow, petting sweep across Starsky's balls.  He sucked one gently into his mouth, rolling it against his tongue as his hand charmed the shaft.  He tended to the other side with the same wet care.

"Oh God, that feels so damn good!"

Hutch smiled.  He turned his attention to the tall stately head.  He again ran his tongue swirling around the glans, then took him in his mouth. 

He heard Starsky gasp, as he reached out for Hutch.  Grasping his bicep, he tugged Hutch toward him.  "Ken," he whispered breathlessly, "please...let me...please you."

Instead, Hutch took Starsky's hand from his arm and tightly gripped it in his own.  He continued to pleasure his partner with his lips, mouth and tongue; his other hand moving upon the shaft in a steady rhythm.

Starsky hand caressed through Hutch's soft hair.  Hutch looked up to witness Starsky's head back, his lips parted, his face awash in bliss.  He could feel Starsky flair in his mouth, ripple in his hand, his hips thrust into his mouth as he exploded in climax.  He drank Starsky down with gratification, feeling a rush of power at being able to effect such pleasure on his lover.

He climbed up and lay his head upon Starsky's chest, hugging him tenderly.  Hutch's lips were swollen, his jaw sore from his effort.  He kissed Starsky's chest softly. 

Starsky pulled him up, kissing him with delicate care, his hands soaring over Hutch's skin.  "Ken, that was so good.  Let me do that to you."  He started to get up but Hutch stopped him.

Hutch smiled at him.  "I'm not done with you yet, David."

Starsky raised an eyebrow as a slow grin lit his face.

Hutch briefly hunted in the nightstand drawer, then returned to his partner.  He turned Starsky onto his stomach and kissed down his spine, his hands eventually finding the soft roundness of Starsky's ass.  He squeezed his backside as he laid a wet kiss in the small of Starsky's back.  His kisses continued down the valley, and he lowered his long body between Starsky's legs, forcing his legs apart. 

He teased at Starsky's anus with his tongue, licking, swirling, dipping into the tight opening.  Starsky groaned his delight at the unusual sensation.  His legs parted further, giving Hutch better access.  Hutch continued his task, pleasuring and readying his partner, eventually thrusting his tongue deeply inside.

Writhing beneath Hutch, Starsky was trembling with need.  "Oh damn, Ken, please!"

Hutch caressed Starsky, continuing with lube-slicked fingers what his tongue had begun.  When he saw that Starsky's body was responding to his hands, opening up for him, relaxing to his touch; he rose up to his knees.  Starsky drew up to his knees as well, pushing back until he found himself pressed back against Hutch.  Hutch wrapped his arms around him, hugging him tightly to his chest.  He pushed Starsky down to the mattress, his breath hot in his ear, "Are you ready, David?" he whispered, his erection nudged up against Starsky's anus.

"Hell yeah, I'm ready," Starsky replied.  For emphasis, he pushed back against Hutch.

Kissing Starsky's shoulder, Hutch pushed past the tight opening.  The man beneath him instantly tensed, gripped with a sharp pain.  Hutch froze.  "I'm sorry, babe!  Are you okay?"

Taking a deep breath, Starsky exhaled shakily.  The pain had passed, and he was fine, though tentative.  "I'm okay.  Just go easy, 'kay?  You're boldly going where no man has gone before."

It took a moment for the remark to register, but Hutch suddenly started to laugh.  Starsky was chuckling too, and he felt a giggling Hutch nuzzle his neck.  "You're strange, David, you know that?"

"You complainin' there, partner?" Starsky smiled.

Hutch shook his head.  "No no no," he replied.  

"Okay then," Starsky took a deep breath.  "Come on, buddy.  I want more."

"You sure?"

"More."

He slid deeper into the slick heat, watching for any sign of discomfort.  Soon he was fully sheathed by Starsky, his own body enveloping Starsky in turn.  Hutch was awestruck at the power of that moment, the realization that they were one, in body, in love, in pleasure.  They were both nested, one within a body, the other within strong arms; at home in each other's comfort and loving.

Hutch cried out as he started to move, called by the undeniable desire commanding his actions.  He thrust with abandon, distantly aware of Starsky's mutual pleasured cries feeding his passion, encouraging Hutch to completely let go.  Even though it was Hutch in the upper position, it was definitely Starsky who controlled their joining, and Hutch willingly followed.  When he surrendered to his climax, his voice was silenced, his body stilled in tensed release.  Only inward was there chaos as ecstasy tossed him over the edge, ravaged with joy, shimmering with pleasure.

Collapsing to the bed, dragging Starsky into his arms, Hutch would have laughed with pure delight if he had possessed the strength to do so.  Instead he murmured declarations of love as he clung to his lover.

Starsky remained facing away from him, and Hutch longed for his kiss.  He turned him and was about to capture his lips when he saw the tears streaming down Starsky's cheeks.

"Aw babe," he whispered, "did I hurt you?"  He reached out and touched the wetness, looking at his fingers in disbelief, as if it were blood instead tears that coated his fingertips.

Starsky gave a short laugh that was almost as much sob as it was laughter, and shook his head with a wobbly smile.  He looked at Hutch with eyes filled with tears and shrugged. 

The truth dawned on Hutch, and tears welled up in his own eyes.  "I've never seen anyone moved to tears by my lovemaking before," he whispered.  A tear slipped down his cheek.

Wiping away Hutch's lone tear, Starsky swallowed hard and found his voice.  "You haven't been making love to the right person," he declared, his voice rough with emotion. 

"Are you okay?" Hutch asked as he gently kissed a damp cheek.

"Never better," Starsky replied with a chuckle.  "How 'bout you?"

Hutch began to chuckle too.  "Perfect."

"Then how come we're both blubberin', huh?"

"I told you before, Starsky; you're strange."

"Yeah, well then you're strange too, lover boy."

"That's because you're wearing off on me."  He pulled Starsky into a tight embrace, kissing him before he could reply.

The end